Last night, I went out to dinner with Tatsuya. We had okonomiyaki at a restaurant not too far from my place. It had been a long time since we'd done anything together, so it was really nice to see him. He was in a cheerful mood, as he usually seems to be. I'd been looking forward to it all day, so I was in a pretty good mood as well.
During dinner we mostly talked about school. Although I knew that teachers worked very long hours, I didn't realize that Tatsuya is at school until 9 pm most days. That being the case, leaving to have dinner at 7:30 felt quite early to him. His enthusiasm for his job still amazes me sometimes. It was good to hear that things are going well at his new school; it sounds like he likes the students and has adjusted to the new routine. Still, it seems like he misses TJHS, too. He asked how the students were doing and said that he worries about them sometimes. That surprised me somewhat. I have no idea what there is to worry about at that school; the students are all quite well-behaved, and most of them do very well academically, too. But I guess it didn't surprise me so much that Tatsuya would be the one worrying about them, because he takes his role as a teacher very seriously. Although he only had those kids for one year, in some sense they'll always be his students.
Though I had been hoping he might have some more free time during Golden Week, it's looking like that won't be the case. On Thursday and Friday he has school activities (softball club), and on Saturday and Sunday he has practice with the company workers' softball team he is on. Maybe softball would be cancelled if it keeps raining, but this afternoon the sky seems to be clearing up. I'm just selfish and spiteful enough to be disappointed by that.
Anyhow, although I really enjoyed spending a little more time with Tatsuya, it also left me feeling a bit sad. Our conversation more or less confirmed what I already suspected, which is that he probably won't ever have much time to spare for me. At this early stage it's not such a big deal, but if I got more attached to him it would be a problem. I'm not writing him off entirely, but it's starting to sink in that there are limits to what I can reasonably hope for from him. Which is a frustrating and disappointing realization to come to.
Oh Andrea! Hang in there. New teachers do get really invoved in their work and very attached to their students. Trust me I know. We have this idea that we can change the world one student at a time and we do. What we don't realize is that we do not have to kill ourselves in the process. I am glad you are not giving up. Just enjoy the time you have with him and not worry about the rest. I know that is hard but hang in there. We all love you and miss you tons! Christina and the Gang
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